So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We are two peas in an std pod
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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