I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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