The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
