There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
