yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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