That's intense
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize