I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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