hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
