we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
