I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
