Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize