bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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