Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
