So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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