Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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