Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
