yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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