either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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