Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
