i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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