guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
