let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You pole danced in your parka.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
His nipple licking is glorious
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