Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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