I faked an abortion last night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
