I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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