Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
