So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
