I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
