I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
