i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This baby is an asshole
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
