Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
