My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
