I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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