if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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