Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
