so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
