ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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