We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize