i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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