call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
