why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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