We're facebook friends in real life
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
