So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
