And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
