she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize