I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
