im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
