And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
