I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
