i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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