after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
