How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
