called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
