Got a toothbrush?
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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