I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize