Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize