birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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