Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
