I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
