That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
