There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize