i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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