I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize