One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
