i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
