Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize