i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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