And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
