No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
